The City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism

a welcoming community of cultural, secular Jews and their families

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Life's Passages


From birth to death, we mark the passages of life. These moments of transition and transformation are universal. They are part of the human experience. We enter the world with naming ceremonies and initiation rites. We depart with funeral rituals and memorials. Along the way, we mark birthdays, graduations, weddings, partnerships, anniversaries, and even divorces with meaningful ceremonies and commemorations.

Babynaming / Bar/Bar Mitzvah / Weddings/Commitment Ceremonies

Funerals/Memorial Services/Unveiling Ceremony / Joining the Jewish People


 
Babynaming

We celebrate the birth of a child--or an adoption into one's family--with a joyful baby naming ceremony that treats baby boys and girls equally. We include lovely readings, a parent(s)' pledge, and the naming itself, which explains the origins of the name and our hopes for the newborn child.

There are many traditions associated with the birth of a child that we, as cultural Jews, feel free to adopt, adapt or discard altogether. While some make links to the past by naming after a relative, others have freely chosen names without such connections. While it is traditional for the naming to be conducted on the eighth day after birth we are not bound by that timetable. Finally, in Humanistic Judaism, circumcision is not a requirement for Jewish identity; some parents preserve this practice while others do not. For those who do, this procedure is conducted in the hospital and is followed later on by a separate and beautiful naming ceremony.

As a community, we love to celebrate baby namings in the context of our Shabbat celebrations. Arrangements can also be made to hold these events at home or a local restaurant.

Please contact Rabbi Schweitzer for more information on arranging a babynaming.

 
Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah program is quite remarkable! It offers a creative, exciting, and meaningful way for secular Jewish youth to celebrate this significant rite of passage and deepen a personal link to their heritage.

Through an individualized program, guided by a mentor, students examine their family history and personal values and select and discuss role models and heroes. They put their values to action by engaging in purposeful community service and they choose any topic of Jewish culture or history that appeals to them for in-depth exploration. This project may take any form including a PowerPoint presentation, a home movie, a slideshow, or an oral report.

The students present their work during a beautiful ceremony conducted as part of a Saturday morning or afternoon Shabbat service. These events are always joyous and impressive and they remind us how right it is to provide this special bar/bat mitzvah option for our youth.


For more information on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program, click here.

Click here to read Bar/Bat Mitzvah papers from past students.

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Weddings / Commitment Ceremonies

We often hear from couples who want to preserve ties to Jewish tradition yet are also looking for a secular or cultural way to celebrate their wedding or commitment ceremony. We believe they have come to the right place. Using non-theistic language, couples can choose to preserve links to our culture--by standing under a chuppah, sharing wine, stepping on a glass at the end of the ceremony. They can also personalize the ceremony with their own choices for readings and poetry as well as by writing their own individual vows. Rabbi Schweitzer has also developed a uniquely beautiful and meaningful candelighting ceremony.

Consistent with our philosophy of openness and inclusivity, we affirm and honor the love between all couples. We respect personal choices to form bonds with partners both within the Jewish family and also from different backgrounds. Our ceremonies honor the dignity of both partners and give recognition to our many cultures.

We welcome same-sex couples and our rabbi is pleased to officiate at their commitment ceremonies or partnerships.


Click here to read Rabbi Schweitzer's article, "Secular Jewish Weddings: New Ways to Say 'I Do'", in the January-February 2008 issue of Jewish Currents.

Please contact Rabbi Schweitzer for more information on arranging a wedding or commitment ceremony.


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Funerals / Memorial Services / Unveiling Ceremonies

There can be no greater deed or mitzvah than caring for the dying, assisting them to achieve a dignified death, and then celebrating their life with a meaningful ceremony of tribute. Some deaths, of course, are sudden and tragic, and we are often powerless to fend them off. That is when we especially need to come together as a community to give comfort and strength to our friends and family in their time of grief.

This is also a time when the "ethics of words" is particularly precious to us. We choose language to use at our funeral and memorial services that avoids euphemisms, platitudes, and messages of false comfort. Instead, we speak honestly of the circumstances and of our loss and pain. We talk of the goodness and good deeds of our deceased loved one. We also don't shy away from acknowledging blemishes and rough edges that complement the picture and paint an honest portrait of the one who has died. In addition to the rabbi, family members or close friends often share reflections at a funeral or memorial service.

Following a service, it is customary to return home for a meal together with family and friends. Some choose to perpetuate a custom placing a hard-boiled egg at the centerpiece of this meal to connote new life and rebirth. Members also make individual choices about how long they feel it is appropriate to remain home and not return to work.

Customarily, in the case of a burial, a headstone is placed on the grave sometime in the first year following the death. Some choose to hold a brief unveiling ceremony to dedicate the stone.

Please contact Rabbi Schweitzer for more information on arranging a funeral or memorial service, an unveiling, or to make pre-funeral arrangement requests known.


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Joining the Jewish People

We welcome individuals who want to join the Jewish people by identifying with our history, heritage, and hopes for the future. We believe that identification as a Jew is a statement of self-affirmation. Some have chosen this path through their marriage to a Jewish partner, sometimes before the wedding but not infrequently, many years later. Others have made this statement on their own independent of any personal relationship.

For Humanistic Judaism, the term "conversion" is actually no longer considered appropriate to describe this transformation. "Conversion" describes a religious, even mystical act, brought on by the exchange of one set of beliefs for another and often accompanied by a transformative ritual. We prefer to characterize the event that welcomes the newcomer as an "adoption into the Jewish family."

Generally, the process begins with a course of study and immersion in Jewish culture that culminates in a ceremony of affirmation. When a person declares him or herself to be Jewish it is important for the individual to gain public confirmation of his or her private declaration. It is equally important for the community to have the opportunity to embrace a newcomer with joy and enthusiasm. We are all enriched by these experiences.

Please contact Rabbi Schweitzer for more information on learning about joining the Jewish people.


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